


Viraag

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Peter misses his mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 07:44:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Viraag – HindiThe emotional pain of being separated from a loved one.Or, Tony’s doing his best to take care of Peter while he’s away from May. But when Peter continues to have episodes, Steve decides to step in and help.





	Viraag

**Author's Note:**

> This is set right after Homecoming, Infinity War isn’t gonna happen in this universe, Cap is back being buddy-buddy with the Avengers, and of course, Cap and Tony are dating. K? K.

It's always been hard for Peter when it comes to being away from May. 

Really, it all goes back to when his parents died. He was left alone, and May had to be the one to scoop him up and raise him. 

The thing is, though, while May _ did  _ raise him -- and did a pretty good job, if he had to say so -- she was never any kind of maternal figure. She was his aunt. That's what he knew her by and grew up knowing. He grew to trust her with more and more. 

But she wasn't his mom. 

No one would be his mom, except his mom. And no one would be his dad except his dad. 

When Peter agreed to help Tony, go to Germany to fight other Avengers, it was hard. It was exciting -- minus almost getting squashed by a truck, of course -- and Tony did take care of him while he was away. 

But, Peter missed his mom. 

And Tony was not his mom.

And neither was May. 

Peter had episodes. That's what May called them. Episodes where Peter woke up anxious, wanting his mother, or had a breakdown about it, or an anxiety attack. She made sure Tony was aware of them when they left. 

Peter had one during his time in Germany. Tony had no idea what to do with the shaking boy in the hallway. 

But now, Peter was back in Queens, with his super-cool Spidey Suit and fighting the crime of New York. He was also back with May. 

Peter had an episode the night he got back.

He was sitting on the bottom bunk of his bed, curled up in a ball against the wall. His face was buried in his chest as he tried to control his breathing, tone down the thoughts of how much he missed his mom.

His heavy breathing tuned out the sound of the window opening, and it wasn't until his Spidey senses tingled that he realized someone was in his room.

He looked up, blinked away the tears that clouded his vision, and saw Steve Rogers standing a few feet away from his bed, right in front of the open window. 

“M-Mr. Rogers?” He asked, voice airy and trembling. “What- what are you d-oing h-here?”

“Hey kid.” Steve frowned at him worriedly. “I wanted to drop by and see how you were. I heard that Tony had taken you home.” He paused. “What's the matter?”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, holding his breath to stop the sob that was clawing up his chest. When he trusted himself to speak without it letting loose, he said, “I just- disap-pointed Mr. St-Stark.”

It wasn't really a  _ lie _ , per say. He did feel like he let Mr. Stark down. But that's not the reason he was freaking out, and he sure wasn't going to let  _ Captain America  _ know that he missed his mom. He didn't want to sound like a baby.

Steve looked at him curiously, but said nothing, just sat on the end of the bed and watched Peter. “I think it was very wrong of Tony to bring you all the way to Germany to fight a bunch of superheroes when you're only fifteen.” He said, “But I don't think that's what's got you upset.

Peter sniffled. Whatever. He could do this. Steve would understand. 

He exhaled shakily. “I want my mom.”

He shoved his face back into his knees and couldn't help the heartbroken sob that left him. A beat passed, and then there was a gentle hand on Peter’s back, rubbing circles inside his shoulder blades. 

“Oh, Peter,” Steve crooned, “I heard Tony talk about how May said- this is one of your episodes, isn't it?”

Peter began to cry harder, both sadness and panic welling up inside him. He wanted contact. He  _ needed  _ contact. 

He nudged closer to Steve, and to his relief, Steve wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, let him wiggle his way as close to Steve as possible. 

“I know it's hard,” Steve whispered, gently rocking Peter as the younger boy cried, “But she's watching you, yeah? She’s got her eyes on you. She’d be so proud of you, Pete. Scared to death, but so, so proud.”

“I m-miss h-h-her.” Peter sobbed, fists clenching into Steve’s shirt. 

“I know you do. I know she misses you, too. But she loves you so much.” Steve assured him, resting his forehead in Peter’s hair. 

Steve stayed with him until Peter fell asleep. He tucked him into bed, poured five little throwaway bathroom cups with water, and set them on Peter’s bedside table. He took one last look at the sleeping teenage, then hopped out the window. 

Peter woke up the next morning alone, window still open. It was all over the news. Captain America and the Winter Soldier had disappeared. 

-

The effects of Homecoming, needless to say, kinda messed Peter up.

Three weeks later, and he was still messed up about it. 

Also, Tony Stark has the worst timing.

Steve had returned a few months ago. Bucky was being watched very closely by SHIELD and the government, but was a free man now that his name had been cleared. Peter was, frankly, very relieved that Steve wasn’t gone for good.

“It’s good to see you again, Peter.” Steve said when he first saw him again, when everyone was gathered at the fully-rebuilt Avengers Tower to greet Steve, Clint, Wanda, and Sam. Bucky, for his part, was laying low until the tension that still remained was gone. Scott had gone his own way, unsurprisingly

Peter smiled wobbly at Steve. He really, really missed him. 

Steve hugged him, and it sent Peter back to all those months ago. Steve hugged him so carefully, not tight like he had Natasha or Bruce, rubbed his back a little. Peter closed his eyes, felt Steve’s heartbeat beneath him, and relaxed. Steve had always been safe, no matter how much Tony had tried to make it seem like he was the bad guy.

Steve was home

-

Two weeks later, Peter had spent the night at Avengers Tower. It was after a pretty exhausting mission, and Peter had decided to crash at the Tower instead of having to sneak into his place and risk waking May. 

He woke up in a cold sweat a little after two in the morning. His pillowcase was sticking to his neck, and the back of his shirt was stuck to his back. He didn’t remember what his dream was about, but he could only guess it was a nightmare of some sort due to his heavy-thumping heart.

He stared at the ceiling in a daze. His head was starting to hurt. 

“Mom.”

No one answered. He knew no one would. But he called out to her anyway. “Mom!”

He still received no reply. His pulse quickened even more, eyes filling with tears. It was dark in his room- so, so dark. He couldn’t see anything. His ears were ringing. Goosebumps licked up and down his arms, his legs, and he shivered once, violently.

He couldn’t breathe.

_ “Mom!” _ He screamed, gasping for air. “M-Mom! Muh-” He choked on the spit that was filling in his mouth, “M-Mom!”

For a moment, no one said anything, and Peter couldn’t hear over his erratic breathing. Peter’s vision started blacking at the edges. He coughed, sputtered, he couldn’t  _ breathe. _

Steve. Steve would help. Steve was safe. 

Frantically, Peter scrambled to his feet, and promptly collapsed onto the floor. He clenched his eyes shut, whimpering at the sudden sharp pain in his wrist. 

_ Steve. Get to Steve. Everything will be okay when you get to Steve. _

Peter used the bed and the wall to hoist himself to his feet. He stumbled to the door and down the hall, desperately trying to remember where Steve’s room was through his blind panic. Eventually, he leaned up against the hallway wall and tried to calm his breathing.

He was lightheaded, so lightheaded, and tired. His head was pounding, and his heart was racing a million miles an hour. He wanted his mom. He wanted  _ Steve. _

He pushed himself along using the wall, barely conscious, but thankfully, enough to find Steve’s room. He knocked on the door repeatedly, barely any strength left in his arms. He leaned weakly against the door, praying someone would answer.

Someone did.

Tony.

“Peter?” Tony asked when the boy collapsed into the older man’s arms, “Pete, what’s wrong?”

“Steve.” He whimpered, shoulders starting to shake as he began to cry. “Steve.”

He heard the bed creak, and then Tony was walking them backwards. He felt himself hit a mattress, and then suddenly, a familiar warm hand rested against Peter’s shoulder blades and that was  _ Steve. _ Steve was here. Everything was okay now.

“Steve.” He cried, choking on spit again. 

Steve hurried to twist Peter around in Tony’s arms and pull him close. “Easy, bud. You’re okay. I promise you’re okay.”

“D-Don’t leave,” Peter whimpered, face pressed hard into Steve’s chest, hands fisting Steve’s nightshirt, “P-Please don’t le-leave. Not ag-gain.”

“Shh, Pete, shh. I’m so sorry for leaving you. Never again, bud, never again.”

He felt Tony settle behind him, and a cautious hand laid on his shoulder. “I…” He paused, trying to come up with the words as he watched their youngest Avenger curl up and cry into the arms of his boyfriend. “I’m so sorry I put you through all of this. I forget how young you are.”

Steve batted at Tony’s arm, then went back to Peter. “You’re okay, Pete. No one is going anywhere anytime soon.”

The three of them laid there, curled up against each other while Peter cried. He ended up falling asleep in Steve’s arms, just like the first time. 

“Wanna tell me why he came to you?” Tony asked quietly, one arm pillowing the back of Peter’s head, the other wrapping around to run through Steve’s hair, mimicking what Steve was doing to Peter.

“I walked in on him having an episode last year.” Steve murmured. “I guess he thought he could trust me.”

Tony only hummed. “Well, you  _ are _ mom material.”

Steve socked Tony in the arm, rolling his eyes despite his smile, and settled back against the pillows, one arm cradling Peter, the other sliding across his side to hold onto Tony. Tony slid his arm around Steve, locking Peter between them. Peter’s tense figure relaxed in his sleep, and he sighed, nudging into Steve’s shoulder. 

It was easy to fall asleep like that.

**Author's Note:**

> You can pry Mama!Steve from my cold dead hands


End file.
